Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
- Downloads：2400
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-04-21 06:30:55
- Update Date：2025-09-14
- Status：finish
- Author：Terri Cole
- ISBN：B089NLL323
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Fredy
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A great book Terri writes with clarity and in a pragmatic way with practical clear guideline in stating and setting your boundaries。 She takes it to a new level。Clayton Micallef A great book Terri writes with clarity and in a pragmatic way with practical clear guideline in stating and setting your boundaries。 She takes it to a new level。Clayton Micallef 。。。more
Sanaa Hyder
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I came across Terri Cole's YouTube channel a few years ago and immediately liked her work。 Cole has a no-nonsense style when it comes to imparting advice and educating people about problematic boundaries and communication。 And she translates this approach effectively in her writing as well。 The book is written in a relatively informal conversational tone （including casual American slang and swear words）， potentially making it accessible to the avid as well as the occasional reader。 There are cas I came across Terri Cole's YouTube channel a few years ago and immediately liked her work。 Cole has a no-nonsense style when it comes to imparting advice and educating people about problematic boundaries and communication。 And she translates this approach effectively in her writing as well。 The book is written in a relatively informal conversational tone （including casual American slang and swear words）， potentially making it accessible to the avid as well as the occasional reader。 There are case studies/stories of people from Cole's experience at the start of chapters for the reader to grasp a concept。 Throughout， Cole refers to the reader with terms of endearment like 'mama'， 'lovebug' and 'beauty'。 Right from the first page， she roots for you， inviting you to evaluate your circumstances and relationship dynamics。As a mental health researcher， I was familiar with the idea of boundaries and some of the associated basics。 But this book made me think more deeply about what Cole calls your 'basement' and 'boundary blueprint'。 I particularly benefited from 'the 3Qs for clarity' and 'the 3Rs — Recognize， Release， Respond'。 It is amazing how you can change your response to a situation/person when you realize the odds are not stacked against you。Full disclosure: When I started reading this book， I felt the need to put forth an argument against some of Cole's claims。 As a Muslim， I believe in principles such as giving benefit of the doubt， spiritual generosity， making excuses for others and having a good opinion of them and in turn God， having inherent honour and dignity by being a creation of God i。e。 human， alleviating the distress of another with the intention to gain reward in the Hereafter， bearing patience in times of difficulty in exchange for expiation of sins， and the list goes on。 I made a note of these as I went along and realized a few chapters in that Cole was not dismissing or disregarding my beliefs。 She was advocating for my self-protection and self-care。 In fact， she agreed with some of my beliefs。 She recognized that every person is unique and deserves to be treated with respect and honour。 Practising my religion and setting healthy boundaries， the two were not mutually exclusive。 Rather， they could co-exist。 This meant: I could for example go out of my way to help a distressed family member， if I consciously chose to do so instead of acting in response to a faulty blueprint （read: feeling burdened to help someone while abandoning my own priorities and consequently blaming and resenting the family member for not appreciating my effort to help them）。 It was a subtle shift in my understanding and behaviour， but an empowering one nevertheless。Having said that， it is definitely tricky to interpret psychotherapeutic advice while also honouring your cultural values， but it's doable。 It can indeed allow you to 'live free' as the book title says。 Thank you to Terri Cole， for sharing her knowledge with the world。 In the current era of overwhelming digital knowledge championing all types of mental health aphorisms， I would recommend taking from credible sources， which include this book。 。。。more
Angie
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This is a book aimed at women， because it seems （from personal experience） that women have a harder time setting boundaries。Right from an early age， many girls are taught to serve and to please， to accept that boys and men are more important and to put them first。 So we grow up as people pleasers。 Meanwhile boys are taught to get out in the world， to be adventurous。 They set their own boundaries。it's no wonder then that grown women struggle to set boundaries。 Even now， women are told that they c This is a book aimed at women， because it seems （from personal experience） that women have a harder time setting boundaries。Right from an early age， many girls are taught to serve and to please， to accept that boys and men are more important and to put them first。 So we grow up as people pleasers。 Meanwhile boys are taught to get out in the world， to be adventurous。 They set their own boundaries。it's no wonder then that grown women struggle to set boundaries。 Even now， women are told that they can multi-task and men can't: therefore they can do more， juggling busy jobs， kids， and housework， whereas men can only focus on one thing。 Whoever invented this lie （and I'm pretty sure it was a man！） needs a medal for "Excellence in Marketing" - selling women the story that they can do it all and have it all， leaving women exhausted trying to please everyone and themselves; while men get off lightly because they （poor things！） can't multi-task。 Leaving them more time to do what they want to do。This book addresses the fact that many women struggle to set boundaries， and gives you ideas on how to challenge your boundaries - not just the ones in your head: but how to challenge the boundaries that you have either set yourself with others or they have set for you and you have complied with。The author has personal experience of boundary issues， as well as being a psychotherapist and realising that most of her clients have boundary issues。Even if you think you set all of your own boundaries， you may have your eyes opened by this book - there are probably plenty of boundaries that you didn't set， and if you want them the change， by the end of this book you will have ideas of how to do it。 。。。more
Charity
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Thank you NetGalley for giving me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an review。Didn't realize what I read is this book is what I needed to hear。 This book is full of stories and examples of everyday clients that come into her office that answers to some of their problems is learning to set boundaries。 That a simple to no and not feeling ashamed it can give a person power that someone have been trapped into people pleasing or even co dependency。 She gives a lot of tips and advice on how Thank you NetGalley for giving me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an review。Didn't realize what I read is this book is what I needed to hear。 This book is full of stories and examples of everyday clients that come into her office that answers to some of their problems is learning to set boundaries。 That a simple to no and not feeling ashamed it can give a person power that someone have been trapped into people pleasing or even co dependency。 She gives a lot of tips and advice on how to set boundaries and overcome the setbacks of people crossing your boundaries。 This was a refreshing read and certainly made me rethink my boundaries。 。。。more
Lisa
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Great book on boundaries！ Review will be up on my blog later this week - www。therapybooknook。com/blog Great book on boundaries！ Review will be up on my blog later this week - www。therapybooknook。com/blog 。。。more
Milo's Library
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